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cereal_strawz
14 March 2011 @ 11:52 pm

Title: There is No Title Good Enough for this Story

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: KiHyuk

Genre: Pokemon!AU, humor, crack. So much crack.

Summary: In which Kibum is the greatest Pokémon trainer ever? And Eunhyuk just wants to be caught.

Theme/Prompt:

Come with me the time is right

There's no better team

Arm in arm we'll win the fight

It's always been our dream

-Pokémon theme song

 This was written for the Unoffical KiHyuk week I'm doing with lady_hanaka and astormisbrewing .  I hope you'll enjoy it as much as they did!

The morning sun shone down brightly upon the town of Suju in the land of SMEnt. At least, it would have if it weren’t raining Squirtles and Mudkips outside. Eunhyuk would be optimistic anyway.

But, really, how could he not be optimistic? This was his day! The day when he would finally go out into the world with his brothers and sisters and find a Pokémon master!

Most people didn’t know that this was, in fact, a big event for a Pokémon. It was a well-kept secret of the Pokémon world that every young Pokémon wishes to be captured and used to fulfill the goals of his or her trainer. But they would never tell. Pokémon liked to play hard-to-get.

Eunhyuk and his siblings kissed their weeping mother goodbye—she’d been such a good mother, Eunhyuk would miss her—and started out on their journey. Humans always thought that it was the trainers that looked for Pokémon, but every Pokémon knew it was the other way around.

It was the Pokémon that looked for a master. Humans couldn’t do anything for themselves.

Despite being quite happy to go out into the world and begin his travels, Eunhyuk was a bit sad to be leaving his family. His mother had been so kind to him, accepting him into her family even though they weren’t the same type—she being a Mankey, he being an Eunhyuk—and raising him from the time he was very small. She’d already had quite a few Mankey babies, and Eunhyuk had always been grateful that she’d been willing to take him in.

His Mankey siblings didn’t seem to be having the same regrets. They never seemed to be as emotionally attached as he was.

“Hyuk!” he called to his mother, a noise of farewell. She didn’t notice. To her he was already a child of the past. Eunhyuk wiped the tears from his eyes and ran out into the rainy morning.

--

At first, Eunhyuk had made an attempt at traveling with his siblings. They were all looking for the same thing, right? They all wanted a master who would be kind and understanding, who would let them out of their Pokeballs in the evenings and make sure they were healthy and well-fed. 

Apparently not, because it was only the second day and all of his siblings had already found masters. Masters they knew nothing about. Masters that could have been terrorists for all they knew!

Mankeys were whores. They’d go for anyone.

Eunhyuk wasn’t a whore. Eunhyuk was a high-class Pokémon. He was going to find a Master that would treat him the way he deserved to be treated! Not like that scary Youngwoon man that one of his sisters had gone with.

Eunhyuk sighed and plopped down on a rock to think for a bit. “Hyuk hyuk. Eun Hyuk Eun. Eun Hyuk.” He said to himself, trying to think of the best place to find a trainer. They were never hard to find in the stories that Poké-Narrator told.

Perhaps he would just make camp here for the night. It was nearing sunset, and the weather was becoming far too cold for him. If only he had fur to keep him warm like so many of the other Pokémon. Instead, all he had when he got cold was the power to turn a light shade of blue, and so far that hadn’t been of any use to him at all!

After working for what felt like many hours, but which was really only 7-and-a-half minutes, Eunhyuk had put together a bed made of leaves and tree bark. He’d just started digging himself a pool so that he could go for his nightly swim when he heard it—the dull roar of departed dreams.

An Officer Jenny was approaching.

“EUN!” he called out in warning, just in case there were any other Pokémon in the area. Officer Jennys were the greatest threat to the happiness of all Pokémon. They always tried to be helpful, but they were such terrible failures at it that the Great Pokémon Council of 1998 had decreed that it would be best just to avoid them altogether.

Eunhyuk had been just about to do just that—avoid the Officer Jenny altogether, that is—when he spotted it. It was a Slowpoke, just lounging about by the road, completely unaware as to the danger approaching him.

He had to act quickly if he was going to save the Slowpoke in time. Officer Jennys might have been useless, but they were never far away. Eunhyuk ran as fast as he could toward the ignorant Pokemon and kicked.

The Slowpoke ended up in the unfinished swimming pool, and Eunhyuk ended up being arrested for cruelty to Pokémon.

--

Eunhyuk didn’t know how a Pokemon could be arrested. They were animals for goodness sake! Animals couldn’t be arrested! Unless this Officer Jenny wasn’t like all the other Officer Jennys. Maybe this was an Officer Jenny gone bad, an Officer Jenny who was into scary things like beastiality!

“Hyuk!” Eunhyuk cried. “Eun Hyuk Eun Hyuk!”

The Officer Jenny rolled its eyes and pulled Eunhyuk out of the tiny sidecar attached to its motorcycle. “Save the insanity plea for court.”

The Officer Jenny spoke in a very deep voice, and Eunhyuk decided that this Officer Jenny must be male.

He felt oddly disappointed. He’d never seen boobs before, but he’d been told they were glorious. Like baby Jigglypuffs.

The Officer Jenny, now believed to be male, dragged Eunhyuk into the police department and shoved him into the first empty cell and slammed the bars behind him. “You’ll stay there until tomorrow when one of the Judge Judys has time to hear your case.”

Eunhyuk didn’t want the Judge Judy to hear his case. Judge Judys sounded like terrible people. The sort of people watched on bad daytime television, whatever that was. And, besides that, what if she sentenced him to death! He hadn’t even done anything wrong!

“Hyuk!” he cried, pulling at the bars to be freed. This couldn’t be happening to him! He had so much left that he needed to do before he died! He could practically hear the depressing music playing in the background as he cried, but that only turned out to be a boy with chubby cheeks and another boy that danced around him throwing flowers playing music for money in the town square outside.

“Officer Kibum, that violin boy and his friend are at it again!” one of the other Officer Jennys complained. 

The first Officer Jenny, now known to be an ‘Officer Kibum’, whatever that was, glared at her. “Why is it that you’re always okay when that thirteen member circus band with the bad hair comes through town, but when that boy plays his violin you complain? What, do you only like bands with thirteen members?”

Eunhyuk gasped in horror at the notion that such people existed and the second Officer Jenny, now known to be a disgusting ‘only thirteener’, stomped out of the room in a fury.

--

On the third day of prison—the town’s Judge Judy had been rather busy hearing a string of cases about the disappearance of everyone in the town’s ketchup (it was true anarchy. No one could eat French fries or hamburgers or meatloaf—not that anyone ate meatloaf anyway)—Eunhyuk decided that he was in love with Officer Kibum.

Officer Kibum, he had learned, had been the love child of an Officer Jenny and a Nurse Joy. All his life, he had been extremely confused as to how he had come into being, but he had always known that he had a very important purpose: to take his mother and her look-alike family out of power.

Kibum had worked hard, and after minutes upon hours of training he had walked into this police station, taken off his shirt, and was immediately given immediate control of the world. 

Or, well, at least immediate control of this town, but it was still a big deal.

Eunhyuk thought that what Kibum had done was the bravest thing anyone had ever done. He’d heard a few of the townspeople mention the word “dictator” as they walked by the open door. Eunhyuk didn’t know that word, but he thought it probably meant “lord of all that is good” or “one who looks great naked”, or something along those lines.

Kibum had yelled at him a few times to stop acting like he couldn’t talk, because apparently he spoke perfectly well in his sleep, but Eunhyuk didn’t believe him. Kibum was only being nice, trying to make him feel better about being trapped here with all of these humans.

He was just an Eunhyuk, after all. 

--

It was the fourth day when Kibum brought him the “clothing”.

Eunhyuk didn’t like the clothing. It felt awkward and he no longer had the ability to look behind himself to check whether or not he’d sprouted a tail or wings or something. Now all he could see was fabric.

“Eun!” Eunhyuk shouted. 

“Hyuk Eun Hyuk!” Kibum shouted back.

Eunhyuk gasped. He’d never expected Kibum to say “I love you” so quickly.

--

It was Eunhyuk’s fifth day with Kibum, and he was just being let out of his cell go meet with the Judge Judy—the ketchup crimes still hadn’t been solved, but there didn’t seem to be any new leads—when it happened.

There was a scream of terror and then the tall boy who Eunhyuk usually saw dancing around the cute violin player came running in. “Come quickly! It’s terrible! Henry…”

The three of them ran out to the town square where the violin boy could be found, clutching at his ketchup-covered instrument. “They were jealous of her!” he cried. “They were jealous and so they destroyed her!”

“Who destroyed her?” Kibum asked, already taking notes in his tiny notebook (there was a unicorn on the cover, Eunhyuk had seen it once).

“I did!”

Everyone turned to see the Officer Jenny from Eunhyuk’s first night in the police station. The Officer Jenny laughed maniacally and held up her ketchup-gun. “And there’s plenty more where that came from!”

The Officer Jenny lifted her gun just as Eunhyuk took a step forward to comfort the still-weeping Henry. The splatter of ketchup hit him in the back and he fell to the ground in shock.

“Hyuk… Hyuk Eun Eun.” He moaned. The crowd gasped and Kibum fell to his knees. 

“No! They… They got you!” Kibum took one of Eunhyuk’s hands in his own and looked away so that Eunhyuk wouldn’t see his tears. “You were the only one who realized I wasn’t a girl. Everyone always said I looked too good in the skirts…”

It was true. Eunhyuk thought so too.

“That’s why I wanted to dress you in my boy clothes. I only wear skirts, but I didn’t want them to go to waste and now look what’s happened! They’ve been stained!” It was well known by Eunhyuk, and possibly some other people, that Kibum absolutely abhorred stains.

Kibum stood up. “It’s the end for you, Officer Jenny! I should have known you were no good!”

Officer Kibum kicked Officer Jenny in the shin and she flew away, leaving nothing but a tiny sparkle in the distant sky.

The crowd began to drift away, no longer interested now that the main threat had gone away. Kibum turned around to look at Eunhyuk who was staring at the ketchup on his shirt thoughtfully. 

And then he spit on it.

Kibum gasped as the stain disappeared and the shirt once again looked good as new.

“What…What did you do?”

“Oh, didn’t you know?” Henry asked, still looking rather miserable over the loss of his violin. “Eunhyuk saliva is a wonderful stain remover. It’s their only ability. Other than speaking human languages in their sleep, that is.”

Kibum stared in shock for a moment before a bright smile appeared on his face. Kibum’s smile was so beautiful that Henry’s violin spat out all of the ketchup and became perfect once more, and the cakeshop owners decided to have a day where everything was free.

“Will you marry me?” Kibum asked.

Eunhyuk nodded.

And then they ate free cake.

Author's Note:



What's that?  I rushed the ending.  That's true.  I did rush the ending.  But, in my defense, I have a lot of homework to do.
Stormy, your prompt for tomorrow is "Why mimes don't wear stillettos".  Enjoy!

 
 
Current Mood: crazycrazy
 
 
cereal_strawz
07 March 2011 @ 12:45 pm
I received a virtual gift today from an anonymous sender. 
I've never received a virtual gift before. It was a rather nice experience.
I don't know who it was, due to the fact that it was anonymous, and I may never know. 
However, I would like to say thank you! <3 
I do so love gifts.
 
 
Current Mood: thankfulthankful
 
 
cereal_strawz
04 November 2010 @ 06:39 pm
Title: Siwon-Bear Goes "Rawr!"
Pairing: none
Rating: G
Genre: Poetry
Summary: A poem, in which the Super Junior fans wonder why it is that Siwon-Bear goes "Rawr!".

Dedicated to Henry, Zhou Mi, and my friend and yours, siwonbeargorawr




“Siwon-Bear Goes Rawr”

By Me

 

Siwon-Bear goes “Rawr!”

“Rawr!” is how he goes,

And why he goes this way,

No one really knows.

Some have said in the past that he hasn’t had lunch,

And “Rawr!” is how he asks for a snack he can munch.

Others say he’s gone crazy,

They believe he’s quite mad.

(But I wouldn’t believe them, they’re all scantily clad.)

If only we could ask him why he says “Rawr!”,

But, sadly, we are just fans, we must watch from afar.

So if we watch all the concerts and variety shows,

Then we might see an answer for why “Rawr!” he goes.

So watch, my ELFs, watch!

And then watch some more!

For the reason for all of these “Rawr!”-ings galore!

Can you see it? Can you? 

Has the answer been seen?

Is the reason the shouts of fans’ “ONLY THIRTEEN”?

Could it be that Siwon-Bear simply can’t bear to see

Those oh-so-sad faces of Henry and Zhou Mi?

But that can’t be the answer,

No one “Rawr!”s over that.

He’s probably just tired or wants to be fat.

Siwon-Bear goes “Rawr!”

“Rawr!” is how he goes,

And why he goes this way,

No one really knows.


 
 
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Dunk Shot - Whale and Jo Kwon
 
 
cereal_strawz
03 September 2010 @ 12:04 am

Title: Leeteuk and the Beast
Characters: Leeteuk, Zhou Mi
Genre: Crack, Humor
Rating: PG-13
Theme: Beast
Summary: Leeteuk wakes up one morning to discover that he is now a Disney princess.

Warning: Leeteuk is a girl throughout most of this…

 

Before Leeteuk had even opened his eyes that morning he knew something was off. He knew it wasn’t the temperature of the room, or really anything to do with his surroundings, although there was a very intense scent of roses in the air now that he thought about it. It was more like something about himself. He didn’t feel feverish, or sick in any way. It was more like something was… missing.

“OH MY GOD, IT’S GONE!” he screamed, finally taking note of a certain appendage that was inexplicably absent from between his legs. After nearly twenty minutes of flinging himself about the room, searching frantically, as if he thought perhaps he had simply misplaced it, Leeteuk realized that whatever terrible person had run away with his penis had left him breasts in its place.

Well… Not exactly in its place, but about 40 centimeters north of where it had once been. The thought almost made Leeteuk want to cry. Despite what people told him about what a nice-looking girl he made, Leeteuk had never really been quite that into cross-dressing. That was more like Heechul’s department.   Leeteuk almost wondered if this was one of Heechul’s pranks, and then decided that even Heechul didn’t have quite that much power, despite having quite a bit.

“Belle!” someone called, and it only took a moment for Leeteuk to realize that it was not a human calling out to the unknown ‘Belle’, but the wardrobe. Having never spoken to a wardrobe before, Leeteuk wasn’t entirely certain how to respond. 

“Erm…ma’am?” Could wardrobes even have genders? “I’m not sure who you’re speaking to, but I don’t see anyone else here. Maybe she’s in a different room?”

“Oh! You’re so funny, Belle!” The wardrobe gave a great laugh. Her drawers shot open and a great deal of women’s clothing began to fly out. The wardrobe looked embarrassed and quickly shut herself. She changed the subject before Leeteuk had time to ask questions. “Now, you must get changed before going down to breakfast! Who knows what The Master would do if he saw you in your undergarments!”

Leeteuk turned bright red and tried to pretend he didn’t want to cry. The female hormones seemed to be making him quite a bit more emotional than he usually was… And if you were to ask someone like Kangin, that would be saying something.

The wardrobe placed a very fluffy-looking, bright yellow dress upon the bed and then turned away to give Leeteuk some privacy while he dressed. Leeteuk would much rather have found himself a pair of jeans and a hoodie to wear, something unisex that would make him feel less awkward, but being a member of Super Junior, Leeteuk was not a stranger to dressing as a woman, and he began to take off his much too skimpy nightgown in order to replace it with something a bit less (much less) revealing. Out of the corner of his eye, Leeteuk caught the wardrobe leaning back around to watch him undress, and decided that he would have to be cautious around her from now on.

--

Sitting at the table, across from the most hideous creature Leeteuk had ever seen in his life, Leeteuk thought back years ago, to a time before the debut of Super Junior, when Heechul had given everyone names after Disney characters. Leeteuk vaguely recalled being Belle while Kangin had been the Beast. It had all been a good laugh then, but now that Leeteuk really was Belle, he wondered if everyone else was in the same predicament. If so, then it was Kangin sitting across from him, licking a plate that had once been filled with bacon with his black, hairy tongue. For a moment, he felt jealous of people like Kyuhyun who didn’t have a Disney character to be, and therefore didn’t have to be in this situation.

“Kangin!” Leeteuk shout-whispered across the table before glancing around to see if any of the cutlery had heard him. One of the spoons looked at him as if he were crazy, and Leeteuk quickly thrust it down into his scalding hot oatmeal.  The Beast/Kangin didn’t seem to hear him. He simply continued his licking, and Leeteuk wondered if he’d had some sort of bad reaction to a medication. “KANGIN!”

The Beast looked up at him, raised an eyebrow, and then returned to his plate-licking. Leeteuk, however, was not discouraged, as he had experienced times when Kangin’s PMSing had been enough to rival even Heechul’s. “Kangin, it’s Leeteuk! Teukie-Teukie! Your leader!”

The entire dining room paused and the Beast put down his plate.

An hour later, when Leeteuk’s temperature had been taken six times, and a teapot with a mother complex had brought him various fluids and forced him to stay in bed, Leeteuk decided that the Beast wasn’t Kangin.

--

Leeteuk had been there for twelve days, six hours, and forty-seven minutes (not that he had been counting) when the motherly teapot—Mrs. Potts, he’d learned to be her name—stumbled into his room looking all-together distressed. This troubled Leeteuk, mostly because he’d found Mrs. Potts to be a fairly nice companion in his time at the castle. The two of them had quite a lot in common, both feeling an overwhelming need to coddle and care for nearly all who crossed their paths. The teapot had even been kind enough to help remove the peeping wardrobe from Leeteuk’s room when he complained that said wardrobe kept giving him splinters due to its constant need to feel him up.

Leeteuk had never been felt up by anything but a human before his experience in the land of Beauty and the Beast, but he had confirmed his belief that he was not cabinet-sexual.

“Mrs. Potts?” Leeteuk threw down the book he had been reading and ran to her side. It appeared that she had been crying. “Is there something the matter? Has one of the children fallen off the shelf again?” This would not have been an unusual occurrence, for many of the tea cups could be quite rambunctious. Leeteuk had never gathered the courage to ask Mrs. Potts why she had had enough children to make up an entire tea set, but he thought that if she hadn’t it would have been far easier to prevent such accidents.

“No, no, nothing like that…” Mrs. Potts sniffled and Leeteuk saw her struggling to wipe away her own tears—a rather useless feat, due to her lack of hands. “It’s… it’s just that…”

The thought of whatever it was that was troubling Mrs. Potts seemed to send her into another fit of hysterics. Leeteuk reached out, handkerchief in hand, ready to wipe away the tears, but this only seemed to make the teapot angry, and she snapped her teeth at him in a way that Leeteuk didn’t think should be possible for a kitchen appliance. “TEAPOTS CAN’T WEAR SHOES!” Mrs. Potts screamed at the top of her lungs. “They can’t wear sneakers, or stilettos, or thigh-high boots! They don’t even have thighs, let alone feet! I can’t even wear flip-flops!”

As far as Leeteuk knew, it had been like seven billion years since the castle had become cursed, and he wondered why it had taken until today for Mrs. Potts to come to this realization. Had they even had shoes back then? The Beast didn’t seem especially worried about wearing them, and he actually had feet, no matter how ginormous and hairy they may have been. Perhaps this was an issue that had been building up in Mrs. Potts’ subconscious for many years, and it had simply taken until now for the true reality to hit. Or maybe Mrs. Potts had spent the morning reading recent fashion magazines, magazines that had informed her that going barefoot was now officially out, and footwear was now the one and only way to go. Leeteuk knew Zhou Mi had been leading a campaign against the shoeless for years now.

Zhou Mi.

Was it possible that the blubbering, biting teapot in front of him could be a living, breathing member of his own band? Leeteuk could only be so lucky. This was probably just a prank, orchestrated by whatever ungodly source had brought him hear in the first place. Of all the members who could show up, Leeteuk would probably expect Zhou Mi last of all. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Zhou Mi or anything, the two of them got along quite well really. But conversations between the two of them nearly always drifted back to spotlight-stealing and ways to appear cute at all times.

“Erm… Mimi? Is that you?” Leeteuk once again outstretched his hand, this time hoping for better results.

The Teapot erupted into sobs once again, and Leeteuk worried that he had offended her somehow by calling her such an odd name, but it was only a moment before she began to speak again. “I… Can you… Can you really recognize me when I look so… so hideous!?”

The remainder of the night was spent in Leeteuk’s bed, a large poster of human-male-Zhou Mi taped over the mirrors so that when he looked into them he would be able to resist the urge to cry. At one point, after many bottles of an unknown alcohol that Leeteuk had found hidden in a cabinet in one of the pantries, Zhou Mi seemed to forget that the woman in front of him was Leeteuk—as well as the fact that he himself was currently a teapot—and there had been a rather awkward moment where Leeteuk found himself explaining to Zhou Mi why the two of them could not have sex.

Leeteuk hadn’t even known that Zhou Mi liked women. He had always been convinced otherwise, but perhaps the transformation into a middle-aged woman cursed into teapot had done something to the Chinese boy’s mind. He had read once that after a sex-change, many people had a tendency to change their minds about which gender they preferred. He thought perhaps this was Zhou Mi’s predicament.

--

On day 452, Leeteuk finally gave up on ever being rescued. Day 452 also happened to be the first time Leeteuk had seen the wardrobe in nearly five months. He had developed a sixth sense about her whereabouts after the time she had nearly succeeded in getting him chained to the bed, a cheerful red apple in his mouth, before Zhou Mi came bounding in, full to the lid with hot tea, which he promised to dump upon all of the wardrobe’s contents if Leeteuk was not released.

Leeteuk had never been more grateful.

This time, however, he was rather caught off-guard, and Zhou Mi was all the way in the kitchen, punishing one of his many children for redecorating itself with lead paint; apparently he had wanted to commit a mass homicide upon all who drank from him. Leeteuk was alone and vulnerable.

“Hello, Belle,” the wardrobe spoke with what Leeteuk supposed it thought was a seductive tone. “Wanna climb in my drawers?”

Leeteuk cringed and attempted to escape from the room in a very fast, very nonchalant way. He didn’t want to hurt the wardrobe’s feelings. “I’m busy.” He proclaimed. “I have to go…”—Leeteuk thought quickly—“build homes for children with Alzheimer’s Disease.”

This seemed to throw the wardrobe off for a moment, but it wasn’t long before it began to advance on him once again. “It’ll only take a moment. Don’t worry. I have very tender hands.”

Leeteuk doubted this for two reasons. The first was that the wardrobe had given him a great deal of slivers in the past.   The second was that the wardrobe didn’t have hands.

“Rain check?” Leeteuk begged, just as the wardrobe leapt upon him, pulling him into the large double doors that made up a large part of her front side. It was dark in the wardrobe, and stuffy, and Leeteuk could only hold on for a few moments before the clothing (which smelt oddly of chloroform) smothered him into unconsciousness.

--

Leeteuk awoke in his own bed, Heechul spread out diagonally across his body, and sunlight pouring in through the window. He could hear Kangin snoring on the floor nearby, and he wondered vaguely what Heechul had done to Kangin to leave Leeteuk’s side. There had probably been some sort of blackmail involved.

The cell phone on the bedside table caught his eye, and he scooped it up the moment he had freed his arm from Heechul’s clutches. Speed dial number 5 was pressed and Leeteuk pushed the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently for an answer to whether or not Zhou Mi was safe, away from the land of hairy beasts, sexually predatory wardrobes, and shoelessness.

“Do you happen to know where Zhou Mi is?” Leeteuk asked, rather wearily, into the phone the moment he heard noise on the other end.

“Oh yes!” Donghae’s voice answered back cheerfully, pleased to be of some help to his leader. “He’s in the kitchen having a cup of tea.”


 
 
Current Location: Back at college!
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
 
 
cereal_strawz
26 May 2010 @ 07:37 pm
Title: Do the Dance
Pairing: LeeteukxKyuhyun
Genre: Comedy, Romance (?)
Rating: PG
Length: One-shot

Summary: Leeteuk has taken up a new form of exercise.

A/N: This was done as a birthday gift for my friend astormisbrewing .  HAPPY NINETEENTH!  I hope you like it!



At first Kyuhyun isn't quite certain what Leeteuk is doing. The older male is standing in the middle of the livingroom, television turned to some odd Indian music channel as he punches his arms out and rolls his stomach. Once in a while he'll kick out one of his legs or strike a pose that Kyuhyun assumes is meant to be sexy, but only makes him want to laugh and go grab the video camera from his closet.

Unfortunately, Kyuhyun isn't fast enough, and Leeteuk notices him standing by the sofa, giggling. Leeteuk frowns.

"Hyung..." Kyuhyun manages to say through his laughter. "What... What are you doing?"

Leeteuk's frown becomes a pout and he grabs the remote control to shut the television off. "I'm taebo belly-dancing!" He doesn't give Kyuhyun a chance to answer, only grabs a half-empty water bottle from the coffee table and stomps off to his room.

Apparently, Leeteuk doesn't like it when people laugh at his exercise.

--

It's a week later when Kyuhyun catches Leeteuk again. This time, Leeteuk is in his room, probably expecting that he's less likely to be caught with the door closed. Kyuhyun, however, has a question about his schedule and walks in on Leeteuk posed like a one-legged ostrich, leaning on the dresser for support.

This time it's too much, and Kyuhyun doesn't even try to contain himself as he bursts into very noticable laughter.

Leeteuk screams and loses his balance, falling onto the bed next to him. This only causes Kyuhyun to laugh harder, drawing Heechul and Donghae out of their own rooms.

Donghae looks weary, unsure of whether he should come see what's happening, but Heechul comes running to the room so that he too can laugh at whatever has gotten Kyuhyun so out-of-sorts. Leeteuk is faster though, and he has slammed the door in Kyuhyun and Heechul's faces before Heechul can even catch a glimpse of anything. Heechul looks highly crestfallen until Eunhyuk peaks his head out of Donghae's room and asks when Donghae will be coming back inside.

When Donghae goes back, Heechul attempts to follow him in.

Kyuhyun decides it's best just to hope that he doesn't have anything scheduled, and goes back to his dorm to play starcraft.

--

It's nearly another month before Leeteuk's taebo belly-dancing surfaces again. He seems to have become more confident, as he has returned to the livingroom, this time joined by Zhou Mi.

Kyuhyun is surprised by Zhou Mi's vast knowledge of taebo belly-dancing. It seems to actually be something that people do. Kyuhyun finds this odd because he's googled it and found absolutely nothing. He takes a moment to wonder if maybe he just wasn't looking in the correct places, his knowledge of computer usage not going very far beyond the world of online gaming. He brushes these thoughts aside though, and returns to watching the men in the livingroom sway their hips and pose dramatically.

This time Leeteuk looks far more intense and beautiful as he moves, and Kyuhyun's desire to laugh has completely disappeared while his longing to kiss Leeteuk has increased by leaps and bounds. He leaves the room blushing.

--

It's a week later, and Leeteuk has been taebo belly-dancing every morning. Kyuhyun has begun setting an alarm so that he can be aware of when it's safe to enter the living room. The alarm, however, can only be useful if Kyuhyun doesn't sneak off to the living room to catch a peak, something that he can't help but do.

Leeteuk is shirtless this morning, and his music has become something a bit more popular. Kyuhyun thinks it might be something American, the language is English, and he almost wants to go join Leeteuk in dancing. He breathes deeply and sits down on the couch. He can withstand this.

When the song ends, Kyuhyun rushes to shut the television off, and Leeteuk stares at him rather blankly for a moment. Kyuhyun watches as his hyung frowns and then begins to glare. His eyes drop to Leeteuk's chest for a millisecond, and then he's kissing him.

It doesn't last more than a second or two, but Kyuhyun can feel blood pounding in his ears as he pulls away. "Erm... Thank you," he mumbles, and then he's left the room to go spaz to whoever will listen. Probably Ryeowook.

Leeteuk smirks and turns the television back on. "Well," Heechul grins from where he's been standing in the entryway watching. "That's thirteen out of fourteen of us. The only one you've got left is Henry and you'll have made out with as many Super Junior members as I have."

Leeteuk grins back. "Your mistaken. I got him last week. I think it's time we start recruiting for a new sub-group.


 
 
Current Location: The Fat Computer
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: Lollipop - Big Bang / 2NE1
 
 
 
cereal_strawz
23 May 2010 @ 07:43 pm

The Humane Society has officially dubbed today as World Turtle Day!

Congratulations Ddangkoma and Ddangkoma's dongsaeng whose name I am unsure of! =D

Read more here

 
 
Current Mood: jubilantjubilant
 
 
cereal_strawz
23 May 2010 @ 06:26 pm

Title: Better
Characters: Yesung / Shindong
Genre: Really sappy
Rating: G
Length: One-shot

Theme: Different
Summary: Sometimes, it’s through being different that we truly fit in.


This was written for the community lady_hanaka and [info]astormisbrewing.  The rest of the fanfiction done for this challenge can be found here.
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Jongwoon had always been an unusual sort of person. From the moment of his birth, he’d had oddities in his personality. They were impossible not to notice, and even his parents had pointed it out from time to time, always with a smile so that his feelings wouldn’t be hurt. “He’s cute,” his mother would say, and that would be the end of it.

Things changed for the worse upon entering school. The other children certainly didn’t find him as ‘cute’ as his mother had. Was it really that abnormal to collect bugs and enjoy pressing his finger to his friends’ philtrums? Jongwoon had never thought so. Everyone else did. It made keeping a playmate rather difficult. 

 

Donghee had always been the fat kid in school. There hadn’t been a single bully who had hesitated to make fun of him, nor had there been a single girl to blush and giggle as he walked by. Shin Donghee was an outcast. 

He knew that there were others who had it far worse than him. He actually had friends. He never had to eat lunch alone, and there was always someone to pass notes to in class, but that didn’t stop the pain of knowing that anyone who wasn’t making fun of him probably just pitied him.

Donghee didn’t particularly want to fill the space around him with either sort of people.

There had been a time when Donghee had tried, harder than he’d ever tried for anything before, to lose weight. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounded, and he liked food so much, and it just didn’t work out.

 

When SM Entertainment put Jongwoon and Donghee into a new project, Super Junior05, both were ecstatic. And when they were led into a room with ten other boys for their first practice, it was obvious that they all had their odd tendencies. 

 

Leeteuk only laughed, that glorious laugh of his, when he awoke to Yesung’s finger resting just above his lip.

The jokes about Shindong’s weight mean next to nothing when uttered by those who he knew would defend him against anyone who truly meant them.

And both knew that, although it had taken longer than either would have desired, finding true friends made it all worthwhile.


 
 
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: I'm watching Personal Taste
 
 
cereal_strawz
16 May 2010 @ 02:35 pm

Title: The Baby
Characters: Leeteuk / Henry
Genre:
Rating: PG 
Theme: Pipe
Summary: Despite having turned twenty, Henry feels like the other members still think of him as a baby. It’s time to change that.

Part of a challenge done with lady_hanaka  and astormisbrewing .  The masterlist can be found here at bonamana_x .

Henry had been a Super Junior member for quite some time now. Well, Super Junior M, if you wanted to be technical, but he still liked to think of himself as a true member of Super Junior. And Henry thought that in that time, he had grown quite a bit, not only musically, but also as a person.

His band mates, however, did not seem to think of it that way. To the rest of Super Junior, Henry was a child. He was the baby. Not a day went by without his cheeks being pinched or someone buying him candy or an ice-cream cone.

Henry didn’t mind, really. He’d gotten used to his cheeks being pinched, and he wasn’t about to complain about the free food. He just wished that someone would see him as something more than that. More than just the baby. He wanted to be someone that the group thought of as important.

He had to change his image.

It wasn’t difficult to decide which members he should not attempt to act like if he wanted to be seen as grown-up. Sungmin and Ryeowook were definitely out, as well as Donghae and Zhou Mi. Other than himself, Kyuhyun was the youngest, and acting like Han Geng would be too cliché. They were both Chinese. As much as Henry liked him, Kibum was too frightening, and Yesung and Eunhyuk were just too weird. This left Leeteuk, Heechul, Kangin, and Shindong.

He tried Heechul first.

Heechul was the second eldest member of Super Junior. He may not have been the leader, but he demanded respect from everyone, and was rarely ever denied. Henry was certain that if he became like Heechul, he would have ultimate respect. Everything would be perfect.

Except that Heechul was so…Heechul. And so… not Henry. Henry didn’t even know how to begin acting like the older man. 

First, he started growing his hair out, and after it had reached a considerable length, Henry put on the dress. The dress had been taken from Heechul’s closet, so he knew it was plenty stylish. It was short, but covered what Henry wanted covered, and Henry had been lucky enough to find some shoes that matched. Everything was going according to plan. Until Leeteuk came into the room from the kitchen, holding a cupcake in one hand. 

He stared at Henry.

Henry stared back.

This was it. The moment of truth. Would his plan be all for nothing…?

“Henry…” Leeteuk smiled widely. “You’re adorable! Did Heechul let you borrow that?” He handed Henry the cupcake, pinched Henry’s cheeks, and skipped away, yelling to Kangin about what an adorable little girl their baby was.

Apparently cross-dressing was not the way to gain respect. How did Heechul do it, then? It must have been something else, something that Henry couldn’t see at a glance.

Kangin chuckled at him as he and Leeteuk walked together back into the kitchen, holding hands. 

Kangin was like the father of Super Junior. It didn’t matter that he was only the fifth eldest member, the others all thought of him that way. He was strong and powerful, and Henry knew that it would be perfect.

Being Kangin was nothing like being Heechul. Henry didn’t feel as if he had to worry about clothing or hairstyles, though they did play a minor part. It was his attitude and actions that he had to change. He had to become kind and paternal, with a reckless streak. In short, Henry had to go do something insane…

Henry chose to try breaking and entering.

Henry wasn’t sure that Kangin had ever broken into someone else’s home. But he was certain that it was the sort of thing that would help him to change his reputation among the rest of the members. No one would ever think of him as a baby again once he’d committed such a crime. He’d finally become just what he wanted to be in the eyes of his friends.

Of course, breaking and entering wasn’t the most legal of things to do, so he decided he would make it as minor an offense as possible—He would break into Leeteuk’s room.

Breaking into Leeteuk’s room proved to be far more difficult than Henry had originally expected. Leeteuk’s room, Henry found, was always unlocked, so that any member with a problem could come in to talk about it. The moment Henry entered the room (dressed all in black), Leeteuk had looked up from his book, a bright smile on his face, and bounced toward him. “There’s my baby! What happened to your cute little outfit from earlier? Do you want me to do your hair?”

So Henry ended up spending the afternoon in Leeteuk’s room, watching Hong Gil Dong: The Musical and getting his nails painted. This was not what he had expected.

--

The next day began with Henry following Shindong about as the elder man ate food, practiced dancing, and then ate some more. The process continued on, and soon Henry was becoming rather bored. He didn’t want to eat all the time. That would just make his cheeks bigger, resulting in them being pinched more. It would be no help.

So he would do something else obsessively.

Henry would smoke a pipe.

Henry found the pipe at a small shop down the street that sold random knickknacks. Upon entering the store, Henry decided that the store’s main demographic was old men. That was perfect. Old men always smoked pipes, right? The girl behind the counter was staring at him, a look of disbelief on her face. He would have to move fast to get out of here before she called her fangirl friends. He bought the first pipe he saw and ran from the store.

When he finally reached the dorm, Henry ripped open the box and took out the pipe. There was a paper inside that informed him that the pipe was ready-to-use. No materials were required. Did that mean he didn’t have to light it?

Henry found this a bit odd, but he wasn’t exactly an expert on pipe-usage, and decided that that must have been normal for pipes of this sort. He held it up to his lips and blew into it. A strange sound erupted from inside of it, and bubbles began floating out of the other end.

This was a bubble pipe.

Well, wasn’t that just his luck? Henry threw the pipe down on the table and sighed. Would nothing work? Why did everything he did have to be so cute?

As he pondered, Leeteuk came into the livingroom where Henry sat, hunched over the coffee table. Henry looked up at him. Leeteuk had his iPod on, the headphones in his ears, oblivious to all that was around him as he danced to an unknown song.

Leeteuk did cute things to, right? How come no one ever treated him like a child? Was it because he was the eldest? But that couldn’t have been it… It must have been something in his personality… Perhaps the way that he always cared for the other members like a mother hen… 

Henry smiled. He would be like Leeteuk! Leeteuk was adorable, the other members were always making comments about it, and yet somehow he was still the perfect leader. Cheerful and caring. 

Henry pulled his iPod out, jammed the earbuds into his ears and followed Leeteuk into the kitchen.


--

Somehow, nothing I write ever has a definite ending.
 


 
 
Current Mood: curiouscurious
 
 
cereal_strawz
16 May 2010 @ 01:44 pm


Title: The Hat
Pairing: EunHae
Genre: Crack, humor. love
Rating: PG-13, maybe? 
Length: One-shot
Summary: Donghae doesn’t like Eunhyuk’s new look. It’s time to fix some things.

Donghae hated the hat.

The first time he’d seen Eunhyuk with the new haircut, Donghae had cringed and pretended not to notice. Eunhyuk just didn’t seem like himself without his slightly shaggy locks hanging over his forehead. Over the years, Eunhyuk had made minor adaptions to his style, but it had never been anything so drastic. Donghae told himself that it would grow back. Until that time, he would just grin and bear it.

Next had come the makeup. The eyeliner was thick and kind of made Eunhyuk look like a raccoon. There was a strange line drifting down from Eunhyuk’s left eye for reasons Donghae was uncertain of. Perhaps it was some sort of fashion statement. Donghae didn’t think it was a very good one. But he loved his Hyukkie, and it wasn’t like the makeup couldn’t be washed off. And it was, every night before bed. Every night before bed, Donghae smiled.

But then there was the hat…

Donghae had finally gotten used to the oddity of Eunhyuk’s new hairstyle when the hat suddenly appeared upon his head one day. It wasn’t that wearing a hat was unusual for Eunhyuk. He wore hats quite often, in fact. They made up a rather large portion of the boy’s wardrobe. But this hat was different.

It wasn’t cute. It was terrifying. It was made of leather and looked like something a gay man in a porno would wear. And not an attractive gay man… A creepy gay man. 

When Eunhyuk had approached Donghae for a kiss moments after the first sighting of the hat, Donghae had quickly mumbled an excuse and booked it out of the room. He’d been avoiding his boyfriend ever since. So far, it had been the worst three hours of Donghae’s life.

This sort of missing Eunhyuk was different than the “going to China” kind of missing Eunhyuk. The “going to China” kind involved distance, the pain of being so far away from the one you love so very much. No matter how much Donghae longed to reach out and touch him, Eunhyuk was simply not there, and there was nothing Donghae could do to fix it. 

This kind of missing Eunhyuk was far worse. It was worse because Eunhyuk was Right. There. And yet, somehow he wasn’t. Somehow, no matter how close Eunhyuk seemed (just a floor below him), it didn’t feel like Eunhyuk was really there. He seemed so different. Donghae almost felt like if he were to kiss him, he’d be cheating on the real Eunhyuk. It was a terrible feeling.

He had to fix it.

--

Getting the hat away from Eunhyuk would be difficult.   First off, Donghae would have to touch the hat. Second, he would have to make sure Eunhyuk wouldn’t notice.

Donghae decided that the best way to do this was through the power of seduction.

Getting Eunhyuk into Donghae’s bedroom had been easy. All he’d had to do was make a phone call, and Eunhyuk was on the other end of the line agreeing within seconds. It seemed that he suspected nothing out of the ordinary…

Good. Everything was going according to plan then.

He plugged his iPod into his laptop, searching around a bit until he found the sexiest song he could think of. He laid himself out on the bed, and tried to put a seductive look on his face. And he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited a bit more. He was beginning to get impatient.

And then the phone began ringing.

Donghae glared and sat up to answer it. By now the music had changed to something by G-Dragon, and G-Dragon slammed his laptop shut before picking up his phone. “Hello?”

“The door’s locked.” It was Eunhyuk. 

“…I’ll be right there.” The seduction plan hadn’t gone quite how Donghae had wanted it to, but there was still a chance. It was Eunhyuk after all, and Donghae was his boyfriend. He opened the door slowly, posed in a sexual manner.

“Hey!” Eunhyuk didn’t seem to notice. He walked straight past Donghae after the quick greeting, and made his way toward the kitchen. Donghae frowned, and after shutting the door, followed him.

Eunhyuk was digging through the refrigerator when Donghae found him. He pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the cap. Donghae’s eyes widened… Could this be it? The perfect moment? 

Eunhyuk’s head tilted back as he held the water bottle to his lips to drink. The hat didn’t move—it was rather tight—and Donghae decided it was time to take action.

He grabbed the hat, not giving Eunhyuk time to react. He was by the sink in seconds, shoving the hat down the drain, and flipping the switch for the garbage disposal. Eunhyuk’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened in horror as the sound leather being ripped apart filled the kitchen.

Donghae was triumphant. There was no way Eunhyuk could wear the dreaded accessory now. It was gone forever, and there was nothing Eunhyuk could do to change that.

Eunhyuk stared at Donghae for a moment. He twisted the cap back onto the water bottle and sat it down on the counter before walking to where Donghae stood. He smiled, shocking Donghae a bit, and wrapped his arms around Donghae’s waist.

“You know…” he said, leaning over Donghae’s shoulder to stare down into the depths of the sink. “There are about twenty copies of that hat back at the studio… “

Donghae pouted, fully aware that he had probably lost. At least for today.

--

So, just curious, does anyone else hate Eunhyuk's hat in the Bonamana video as much as I do? It doesn't seem right to me... I'm used to him being so.. cute.  I don't think the hat fits. him.

Maybe it's just me.

 
 
Current Mood: hothot
Current Music: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
cereal_strawz
11 May 2010 @ 11:26 pm
Title: Impregnation
Pairing: Donghae/Ryeowook (friendship), mentions of Eunhyuk/Donghae 
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Length: One-shot
Summary: Impregnation (n.)- the action or process of making a female pregnant; fertilization.


This fic was done as part of a challenge between [info]astormisbrewing, [info]lady_hanaka, and myself.
My prompt was Donghae/Ryeowook--Impregnation.



Click. Click. Click.

The sound of the remote clicking was all that could be heard throughout the Super Junior lower dormitory on Tuesday morning.

Click. Click.

For a moment it stopped. But then Donghae muttered something about false advertisement, and the clicking began again, slightly faster.

ClickClickClick.

There was no pausing between the clicks now, and when Ryeowook passed through the living room on his way to the kitchen to make breakfast, Donghae appeared to have finally flipped his lid. He was clicking frantically, eyes unblinking, glued to the television. Ryeowook didn’t know what he was looking for, or even how he was looking for it. The images were moving by far too quickly for Ryeowook to make heads or tails of anything.

“Umm… Hyung?”

“Don’t you think Hyukkie’s feet smell awful?” Donghae sounded angrier than usual, Ryeowook noticed. From his words, it was obvious that he had had some sort of disagreement with his best friend, and that that was the reason for his unpleasant tone. Ryeowook noticed that Donghae was pouting.

It wasn’t terribly uncommon for Donghae and Eunhyuk to have their little arguments. The two were constantly together, and when you spent nearly every moment of your life with a person, you were bound to have disagreements every once in a while. It appeared that this was one of those times.

“Just wanted to have breakfast together…” Donghae mumbled. Ryeowook sat down on the couch next to him. Donghae was in one of those Heechul-moods where he wanted to complain. Ryeowook knew he had no chance of escaping. “Changes the channel just when the fish show comes on…”

That didn’t sound like Eunhyuk… Eunhyuk had watched Finding Nemo with Donghae twelve times last week alone… “Hyung…?” Ryeowook questioned. “Are you sure he did it on purpose? Maybe he just didn’t notice.”

“He noticed!” Donghae continued clicking. Why did they have so many channels? “And when I asked him to change it back he said no! And he wouldn’t even tell me what channel it was on! And then he went back to his room and locked the door!”

Donghae stopped clicking. Ryeowook thought he looked rather smug as he leaned back in his seat and dropped the remote control next to him. Donghae had probably seen this as some sort of game. Eunhyuk and the television were a fierce weyr of dragons, and Donghae was a knight, fighting to bring peace and justice to the living room once more. Donghae had won and was now celebrating his victory.

Sadly, it was to be short lived.

“Umm… Hyung?” Ryeowook squeaked as he made a startling realization. Donghae turned to look at him. "This is…”

But Ryeowook didn’t have to say it. The narrator of the television show Donghae was so intently watching said it for him.

“...following ejaculation, the sperm passes through the vagina and into the uterus-“

"Hyung.. Those aren't fish..."

The images were vivid. They had obviously been recorded, rather than computer animated.

“OH MY GOD!”

As Donghae ran from the room in terror, Ryeowook caught sight of the clock. The others would be awake soon. It would probably be best if he started on breakfast.


---
There it is. I’ve done it. As I look back over it, I feel as if it were thought of by a twelve year old. I can accept that though I suppose...

Looking back, I have a lot of ideas I could have done for this.  But I'm too lazy to go fix it.

 
 
Current Location: Your Uterus
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
Current Music: 2AM - 일단 돌아서지만 | Powered by Last.fm